Terms associated with ongoing financial meltdown
Given all of the problems with the current global financial markets, you might like to reacquaint yourselves with the following terms:
CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer
BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius
BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance ; the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex
VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower
P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing
BROKER — What my broker has made me
STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell
STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves
FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has just been disconnected
MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks
CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet
YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share
WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse
PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use
Add a comment